


Amongst The Ghosts

by relinquish_one_bullet



Category: GreedFall (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2020-10-27 03:54:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20753918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relinquish_one_bullet/pseuds/relinquish_one_bullet
Summary: Anyone else play Greedfall? No? Just me? Well.





	1. Part One

She felt lightheaded walking down the stairs towards the ground level. Saying goodbye to her mother, in the midst of this terrible and fatal illness, felt wrong. She stumbled, rubbing the back of her neck out of habit and touching the tight braid that wrapped around her head. Nervous energy danced between her fingertips and singed her gloves ever so slightly. 

All the pleasantries, the fancy clothing, the hairdos and décor…although it was all she’d ever known, there was still a part of her uncomfortable with it all. She longed for her youth, to days spent running in the fields and practicing wooden sword fights with Constantin. Who, for that matter, was still missing as far as she could tell. 

“Hey! Green Blood!” 

A rush of warmth tumbled over her at the sound of his voice. He circled her in the courtyard, an ever-present smirk playing on his lips. Still, she couldn’t help the smile that crossed her own face. Kurt was familiar, ever present and solid. No matter what. 

“My little royal fledglings are leaving the nest.” He gave her a toothy grin, never one to shy away from getting a jab in about their small age difference 

“Ever accompanied by their loyal master of arms.” She shot back, keeping him in front of her as he circled closer

“Well, someone has to watch over you.” And that same warmth hit her in the chest again 

“Kurt!” She laughed, “I’m not a child anymore. I don’t need protection.” 

His smirk grew tenfold and he finally stopped moving. Clearly this is exactly what he’d wanted her to say. It took him only a moment to pull out his sword, the metal glittering in the dying sunlight.

“S’that so?” He teased with a velvet voice as a blush crept up the back of her neck, “Let’s see then.”

Magic electrified her hands in response, sending gentle jolts up her arms to her chest. Magic had always come naturally, fluidly, since she was a child and it had perplexed several members of the family. Her mother had found it all a bit alarming and not something she had any experience with, but Kurt was eager for the challenge of teaching her something other than swordplay. It had certainly been a battle for them both, trying to get her emotions in check to prevent any accidents or stray magical energy. 

He deflected her first spell but her next hit him squarely in the chest, knocking him back slightly. He turned back with a wide grin, evidently enjoying the practice. She got the feeling that here, fighting, was where he was most comfortable and anything that brought something new to the field excited him. 

_”It’s always different with you mages.” He’d said once as they practiced in the back courtyard, by themselves for once while Constantin had lessons, “Never know what I’m going to get, always keeps me on my toes.”_

She stepped away from the memory in time to duck his incoming swing, rolling to the ground. She shot her hands out, grabbing him in a stasis field at the last minute and holding him in place. Her breath came in shallow pants, her arms still outstretched as he scowled. 

“No fair, Green Blood.” He whined, his arms held above his head in the inevitable swing he was about to take at her, “How’re you going to learn to swing a sword if you cheat like that?”

“I guess I’ll continue cheating.” She teased, shrugging, and then tapped him on the chest as she stepped past him to release him 

He staggered forward, catching himself and turning to face her again. The blush she’d fought so hard against crept up her neck again under his gaze but she refused to let him see. 

“I have to say goodbye to my mother…” She trailed off and his expression turned serious and oddly sympathetic

“Goodbyes are never easy, Green Blood. But necessary. I’ll meet you out front when you’re done and we’ll go find your cousin.” 

At this she nodded and realized, rather suddenly, how grateful she was to have him here, beside her as always. She’d come to lean on him, rely on him even. He walked off in the opposite direction and she watched him for a moment, waiting for him to pass through a door leading to the front of the palace. 

She’d been only 15 when she met him, at the request of the prince. She and Constantin needed to know how to protect themselves, especially with the political climate being what it was, so they hired an experienced coin guard to be their master of arms. A fresh-faced man of only 20 was who they got. The major had said he was gifted, one of the best at such a young age. Behind closed doors, they said he needed a change of scenery and had been removed on purpose.

She’d fostered a girlish crush on him the moment she met him but pushed it down hard despite herself. He was a man, had lived and traveled and seen things she couldn’t imagine. He flat out refused to talk about the scars that littered his face and chest and after a while she stopped asking. He teased both she and Constantin mercilessly but despite it he was always kind in his own way and pushed them to be better.

It was Constantin who broke the news in a fit of envy and told her the coin guard barracks were attached to brothels in every major city and then let her make her own deductions. She worked tirelessly to smash her foolish crush to pieces and refused to talk to Kurt for days. When he finally cornered her and made her tell him what was wrong, she lied, partly, and said she’d had her heartbroken. 

She couldn’t place the expression that momentarily crossed his face but he replaced it with a serious one soon after. He frowned and crossed his arms, an expression he carried most places except when they were alone. 

“Do you want me to pay him a visit, Green Blood?” He had finally said, and her heart very nearly did break 

Still, as she became an adult herself, their relationship had morphed. He became less a teacher and more a body guard, dutifully taking her from place to place, ever by her side but always an arm’s length away. He joked that she was a fascinating, noble woman and he was but a boorish soldier and yet…

It didn’t matter though. Her life became a whirlwind of politics and compromises, things that didn’t interest him in the least, and she threw herself into learning all she could to better aid her cousin. 

And now she was embarking on a grand adventure, to an island far away. And, just like always, her captain never swayed from duty. When asked if he would accompany them both for protection, he agreed without a seconds thought and without a single mention of pay.

••••••••

“These ships are huge!” Constantin gushed as they walked towards the dock

She and Kurt shared a knowing, familiar glance but she couldn’t help but smile. Constantin was safe. An idiot still, to be sure, but safe, and she did care for him awfully. He had always been close to her, had never shied away from her because of the strange mark on her face. He said it made her unique and unique meant better than everyone else and therefore she was his best friend. Kurt liked to joke that she was his _only_ friend.

“Hurry cousin, let’s-…” Constantin was cut off by shouts from a neighboring ship and they all paused 

“It’s going to get loose!” The naut yelled from above, “We need ropes, help!” 

In the next moment there was an ear shattering roar and the wooden hull of the ship in front of them splintered and shivered. 

“Green Blood…” Kurt was warning her, her arm in his hand 

He tried to pull her back as Constantin stared up at the ship, paralyzed. And then, with another roar, a gigantic creature burst forth from the hull, shattering the side of the ship and launching into the air. She twisted from Kurt’s grasp, sprinting to her cousin and tackling him out of the way as the creature landed.

“Go!” She shouted and shoved her cousin towards her comrades, “Protect Constantin!” 

Kurt looked like he was going to fight the order, already grabbing for his sword, but Captain Vasco shoved them both back towards the steps of the dock as the creature turned on her. 

It was enormous, like a tree that had come to life somehow and now sported gigantic claws and a gaping mouth. Magic flared in response to her fear and brilliant silver energy trailed quick, looping patterns around her wrists. 

Still, the creature seemed fatigued or injured in some way and she had little difficulty sending it to the ground and finally shooting it point blank. An unnatural silence seemed to linger for a moment as she stared curiously at the foreign beast. There were stories about Teer Fradee, certainly, but she’d never really believed them until now. 

“De Sardet!” Kurt only used her formal name when he was agitated, and she prickled slightly

He closed in on her, reaching for both her hands, inspecting her quickly and efficiently. The sudden onslaught to her personal space sent a wave of magic through her, she was certain he felt it being this close, and she blushed terribly. He had been the only one able to disrupt her like this since adulthood and she still couldn’t tell if he did it on purpose sometimes. 

“How do you fare? Are you hurt?” He ignored what must have been a soft tingling against his hands and face and continued to check her for injuries

“I’m fine.” She pulled herself away from his grasp and he took a step back, “I’m all right.” 

He nodded, almost touching the back of his neck in embarrassment, and then Constantin ran forward, eyeing the creature. 

“That was…amazing!” He clasped his hands on her shoulders, “Are you all right, fair cousin?”

“Fine, perfectly fine.” She managed to press the magic back and relax again as Kurt retreated a few steps away 

“That fight was exceptional. Epic! I can’t believe it.” He continued to gush as she led him towards their own ship and away from the frightened creature 

She glanced back only once, feeling a strange sense of pity for the creature she’d had to kill, and then set her sights on the ship. Constantin ran forward immediately, and she trailed behind. Their rooms were set up already, comfortable and probably quite expensive, but she stayed near the edge, wanting to see the ocean in all its glory. 

“You all right, Green Blood?” Kurt walked up beside her, leaning against the side of the ship as they began to move

“I’m all right.” But she shrugged and sighed, “I just…leaving my mother…” 

Kurt nodded and stared out at the horizon in front of them. She felt a pit in her chest now, slowly moving up and lodging in her throat the farther away from the shore they got. In the distance, beneath a haze of smoke, she could see the palace where her mother still sat. 

“She’ll be dead before I even reach the island.” She whispered and Kurt glanced over to meet her gaze, “I feel as if I’m letting her down…letting her die alone.”

“You know that’s not true.” He said in a quiet voice, “She has high hopes for you.”

“Yes but…” 

But what was there really to say? She had agreed to come on this trip and the ship had already started on the journey. Even if she wanted to, there was no turning back. And Kurt was right, her mother did have high hopes and she would not let her down, even if that meant she couldn’t save her. 

“Well…at least you’re here.” She said it quietly, without thinking, and Kurt raised his eyebrows in blatant surprise, “If those are the kind of creatures we’ll be facing, I’ll certainly need a human shield to take most of the brunt.” 

He grunted a laugh and then nudged her playfully with his shoulder as she grinned, trying to fight the feelings of homesickness and guilt that were already gripping her heart. Really, she was glad Kurt was there. He could withstand anything. And with him beside her, so could she.

“Cousin! Come quickly!” Constantin was near the front of the ship, pointing wildly at the water down below 

“And so it begins.” Kurt joked, nodding towards the stairs that led to Constantin 

He took careful steps towards Constantin as the rest of the crew scattered across the deck, taking care of various jobs she knew nothing about. She gave herself one last moment and stared straight across the water to the shrinking city she’d always called home. And then she turned her back on it and took the stairs to be with her cousin.


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The number of people who liked or sent comments about this story was awesome, you're all amazing. Thank you so much <3

“You look restless.” She commented as she walked past on deck 

“Caged.” He replied bitterly, glaring at nothing in particular, “With a rather…_excited_, noble.” 

The first month of the journey had been predictably uneventful. Constantin continued to titter, getting on everyone’s nerves as they were unable to escape him for long. Kurt had held together longer than anyone else but appeared most distraught for once, a brooding expression crossing his face. 

“Perhaps I can distract you momentarily.” She offered and he raised an eyebrow in return, unimpressed

“Not much privacy here, Green Blood…” He teased and she rolled her eyes in return 

She reached behind him, grabbing a wooden practice sword from a barrel and poking him quick in the chest with it as she passed. He feigned a wound, clasping a hand over his breast.

“So she does have a tough side after all.” He teased, pulling another wooden sword out from the same barrel 

“You should’ve known that the moment you met me.” She retorted with a grin 

And she was right, of course. The day he’d been assigned to the palace he’d made himself known and set the standards he expected from them. They weren’t the guard, and they couldn’t be treated so harshly without him receiving the wrath of their courtly parents, but he still expected competency. Constantin rebelled, naturally, and De Sardet…well at the time he thought she’d been merely brooding, not fighting so hard to contain a power she didn’t understand yet. 

_”Fight with honor!” He stepped forward with his new charge, bringing a wooden stick down hard_

_The girl in front of him had obviously never handled a sword, not really, and her wooden piece clattered away as she shook her stinging hand. This was the point Constantin had decided he’d had enough and run off to his room. He waited for the same reaction from the girl, assuming she’d be the same sort of pampered pet. She glared, her eyes glinting bright in the relative dark of the late evening. _

_“Again!” _

_She lifted the sword again obediently, to his surprise, a much better student than Constantin already. The sword stayed in her hand for two knocks this time before he knocked it across the yard. _

_“Again!” He pushed his luck, “We will practice until you can knock a sword from my hand.” _

_Whatever she’d been thinking, she hadn’t said it out loud to him. Instead, she grabbed the sword and charged him. The attack nearly caught him off guard. He swung her sword away and then knocked her to the ground. It was, perhaps, too rough but he hadn’t had time to plan. He turned it into a lesson, pointing the stick he carried at her, trying to force her to stay put, but she kicked it away and rolled backwards to stand. _

_“You are without a weapon and on the low ground.” He muttered, “Yield, Green Blood.” _

_At this new nickname she stiffened, turning to face him with an icy glare. The other kids had made fun of the mark on her face for as long as she could remember and she’d grown a tough skin and didn’t let it bother her anymore. But now, this stranger picked at wounds he knew nothing about. _

_If she’d been one of the guards, he’d have hit her with the stick in his hand, taught her to yield when she was supposed to so she didn’t get seriously hurt. But she wasn’t, she was a noble, and so he waited and watched the gears turn in her head._

_The rage she felt, the pent up anger she’d had to push aside for petty politics, bubbled up inside her before she could stop and in the next moment she’d thrown him back with a force of magic that knocked her to the ground as well. The stick he carried clattered beside him and she stared wide eyed, ready for a reprimand. What came instead was a rare, surprised grin._

_“Not bad, Green Blood.” _

_Somehow, it didn’t feel as much like an insult coming from him. He dragged himself to his feet and then offered her a hand. When she placed hers in his he pulled her up to her feet. It was the first of many times she’d earned his respect. _

“You remember the first time we sparred?” He asked her, swinging the sword lightly in a looping pattern 

“Of course.” She replied easily, “I bested you.” 

“Hah!” He barked out a rate laugh, “That’s not exactly how I’d put it.” 

“Well, let’s see how you do this time.” She teased

“No magic.” 

“Deal.”

He swung unexpected after that and she ducked, rolling across the deck. She could hear Vasco scowl from above them but he said nothing and turned his back to them. The sun was beginning to set and most of the deck had cleared as people went below for food and rest. 

“You’ve still never told me about your scars.” She swung up and missed, falling forward slightly

“And I probably never will.” He retorted, stepping back to solidify his grounding

“If I win…” She began with a smirk and he rolled his eyes, swinging 

Their swords clashed and then ricocheted off one another. She felt her heart racing, unused to doing much of anything on this voyage. 

“And what do I get it I win?” He raised an eyebrow and tried to circle around her

“Whatever you want.” She challenged 

So far away from home, away from all the rules and subtleties, she’d grown much more bold. Kurt didn’t seem to mind and he smirked in return. 

She stepped forward, dodging his next swing and then jumping and piercing forward. He swung his arm back and she missed by inches, clamouring back against the deck again. She couldn’t imagine what he’d ask for, not really. Nothing too risky, he wasn’t stupid, but still…

She wouldn’t allow herself to hope on that subject. Kurt kept her an arms length away in most situations. Sparring seemed to be the only time he let his guard down, even momentarily. 

Two more impacts, two more times for her to try to get the upper hand, and then he managed to kick her chest and send her flying into the wall behind them. She lost her breath a moment and then he was there, pressing the sword against her neck gently. 

“I believe I win.” He grinned from above, a hand behind her on the wall to keep from crushing her and to keep her in place 

She stayed there a moment too long, both of them breathing heavy and too close to one another. Kurt wouldn’t move until she yielded, he’d learned that trick many years ago when she’d surprise attacked him from behind as he was walking away and then later claimed victory. 

“Not exactly.” She finally managed and glanced down between them 

Her sword had only automatically come up in her hand by luck. She tapped it against his stomach to prove her point and he laughed. He finally pulled away, dragging the wooden sword away from her neck. 

“I’ll call it a tie.” He conceded, “It’s almost as if you had a real master of arms.” 

“The best.” She jabbed him with her shoulder as they walked over to the barrel and put the swords back 

“So…since we tied, that means I get…” She began, grinning

“One scar, Green Blood.” He scowled, “Make it quick.” 

Her grin expanded, glad that he was playing by the rules for once, and she turned him to face her so she could pick carefully. He had many, and from previous, warm sparring sessions that brought a blush to mind, he had many more hidden beneath his clothes. Her eyes traced over his face, the scar across the bridge of his nose and one down his lip. He watched her with a curious expression, almost neutral except for her eyes. 

He was wearing a plain shirt now, away from the dangers on land, and the top was unbuttoned fully. She brushed the collar aside slightly and then traced over a deep scar there at his collarbone. 

“This one.” Her neck flushed as she touched him and a noticeable blush had crept up his neck to his ears 

He turned away, leaning on his forearms and staring out at sea. She stood beside him, watching the sun set low beneath the horizon. 

“Constantin gave me that one, if you’d believe it.” He replied, “Complete accident. Fool couldn’t best me on my worst of days.” 

“What happened then?” 

“He was running away. He’d grown tired of sparring and wanted to rest so he tried his famous escape maneuver; started climbing a wall, practice sword in hand, and took a tumble. You were both my responsibility and somehow I didn’t think the prince would look kindly on me bringing back a battered boy.” He shrugged, “So I caught him. His sword broke on the way down and got lodged when he landed on me.” 

He absently traced over the scar. The broken edge must have come straight down to cause as much damage as it did. Still, he was right, there was no way Constantin was clever enough to plan something so nefarious, even if it did get them out of training for weeks. 

“That does sound like him.” She conceded with a chuckle

“Why that one?” He asked after a moment, raising an eyebrow

“Oh…I…” It was her turn to be uncomfortable and she blushed again 

Perhaps he didn’t remember. It didn’t matter, not really, and she could only imagine the medicine they’d forced down his throat to keep him from leaving the bed had made him loopy, but she’d felt closer to him in that moment, only darkness between them, than she had any other time. At least any other time before the river. 

“I visited you in the infirmary that night.” She replied, “No one would tell me what happened, but they let me in nonetheless to visit you.” 

“Ah.” He looked uncomfortable, “I remember now.” 

If he was embarrassed by the memory he didn’t let on, just stared back out at the water below. That night, in the pitch darkness, she’d come down to the infirmary after Constantin had refused to tell her what happened to their master of arms. Kurt had been carried in, right past her, blood splattering behind him. It scared her and yet she had to wait until nightfall to escape without being seen. 

And they didn’t let her in so much as they didn’t see her sneak through an open door and hide amongst some supplies. The last nurse left, going to a table outside the room to finish her work, and she tiptoed over to the wounded soldier. 

_”What’re you doing here?” He asked, groggy and high on whatever medicine they were treating him with _

_“Constantin said you’re hurt.” She replied, sitting beside the bed on the floor, “Is it…the malichor?” _

_“If it was do you really think it smart to come down here for a look yourself?” He scolded her _

_So, it wasn’t that then. She noticed the bandages, wrapped up against his chest and shoulder. She pulled herself up onto the edge of the bed and traced over them with her eyes. Kurt grimaced as he moved slightly and settled back against the pillows. She must have looked scared, she was scared, because he sighed and looked up at her gently. _

_“I’ve had worse, Green Blood.” His hand trailing over the bandages as if to prove a point_

_“What happened?” Her voice was quieter than she expected, and harder to force out _

_“Doesn’t matter.” He replied, “Shouldn’t you be in bed?” _

_She rolled her eyes. She was nearly 18 now, nearly an adult and treated as so by everyone else. But not the illusive coin guard. He continued to treat her like a child just to get a rise out of her. _

_“I wanted to make sure you’d live.” She replied with a frown, “Finding another master of arms would be a chore.” _

_“Satisfied?” He asked with a smirk and she glanced down at her hands_

_“Almost.” Her boldness seemed to grow in the dark and she reached forward_

_He caught her hands with a frown, even with the injury he was fast and precise, and held her back. He must have felt the tease of magic against his own skin and he glanced down at her trapped hands, confused. _

_“What’re you doing?” _

_“I’ve been practicing something.” She returned, her face hot, “I wanted to see if it would help.” _

_“I’m your test subject then?” He seemed to relax when he realized there was nothing nefarious about her intentions, “Your prince is going to have to start paying me more.”_

_She must have made a face, something like a hurt animal, and he sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. It was true, she’d been practicing for months now, but today when she realized he’d been hurt she spent all afternoon and evening scouring over old books and meditating. Finally, he let go of her hands and tried to stay still. _

_“Fine.” _

_She reached forward again, pressing her hands against the bandages very lightly. She closed her eyes, trying to still her mind, and focused her energy into him. His heartbeat pressed hard and fast against her fingertips and she nearly faltered, trembling. Maybe he was nervous too. _

_She’d never been this close to him, not like this, and he stayed very still like an animal caught in a trap. She continued to try, crunching her eyes closed tighter to focus. It took longer than she would have liked but after a few more moments he gasped, goosebumps erupting over his arms. _

_“Green Blood?” His voice was a hoarse whisper _

_“Shh.” She focused harder, imagining the sewing together of flesh and fresh, tender skin beneath her hands _

_Finally, after a few more moments, she pulled away, exhausted. When she opened her eyes, Kurt was staring at her with a surprised expression. He slowly lifted the bandage and checked the wound beneath as she peered over top. Not completely healed but much better already. _

_She wasn’t sure what to say and apparently neither was he. For a moment they stared at each other with wide eyes and then she finally came to her senses. _

_“I have to go.” She pulled herself up, lightheaded_

_“I…” Kurt grabbed her hand to keep her from moving and stared up at her, “I…thank you.” _

_She blushed hard, thankful for the darkness around them, and then slipped her hand from his grasp. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he never did. _

_“Feel better.” She whispered and then took off towards a side door that avoided the nurses _

“You’ve always been extraordinary.” He mused, bringing her out of the memory, “I’m told it takes years for someone to master most healing spells.” 

“I’d hardly call myself a master, I didn’t even manage to heal you completely.” She blushed

“You cut my bed leave time in half.” He retorted and she shrugged but grinned nonetheless

“You probably shouldn’t be thanking me then.” She replied and he chuckled, shaking his head

“It’s your turn you know.” She stated, “To ask for what you want, I mean.” 

He glanced over with a smirk and she purposely looked away, her blush deep and hot. What did she want him to ask? She wasn’t sure. Girlish, inexcusable ideas flitted through her mind but she pushed them away. Finally, he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I’ll have to think about it, Green Blood.” He replied, “But thank you. It was nice to stretch a little.” 

Without hesitation he took her hand, barely brushing his lips against her knuckles, and then he abandoned her on deck and went below.


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a long, filler chapter. 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone that commented and liked the last chapter. I’ve been having such a shitty week and hearing from so many nice people has been wonderful and really made me feel a lot better. 
> 
> Thank you, also, to the lovely people who bought me coffee through my link, you’re amazing and I love you <3

“Kurt, just Kurt. I protect our Excellency’s back. And if a violent fit should overcome you, rescue party or not, I will kill you.” He glared in Aphra’s general direction and De Sardet gave him an exasperated look 

“Pleasure.” Aphra replied sarcastically 

They’d been on the island for months now and although she felt like she was adapting well, there were still days she felt lost in the foreign land. Today was one of them, hiking through the marshy swamp to find the scientist and her team had been anything but ordinary. She longed to be home beside the fire, relaxing.

“Let’s make camp. We’ll wait until nightfall to go after the rest of your team.” She commanded, leading the way to a suitable camping spot

Aphra looked like she was going to disagree but seemed to realize she was outnumbered and kept her mouth shut. Kurt started a fire and Siora sank down beside it with a sigh. Aphra maintained alert, standing at the edge of the camp and looking down at the valley below where her comrades were kept. 

“We don’t have to fight them.” Siora whispered, glancing back harshly at Aphra, “We can save these lion scientists and not fight my people.” 

“I’ll do everything I can to avoid bloodshed, Siora. I promise.” She reassured her and the young girl looked openly relieved

“You’ve a soft heart, Green Blood.” Kurt muttered, sitting down beside her, “It’ll be the death of you, but I don’t mind.” 

“You act like you don’t want a break from fighting.” She teased

“I want whatever her noble dainty wants.” He teased right back, “You are, in fact, who pays me after all.” 

She rolled her eyes and they all fell into a comfortable silence as the sun began to set behind them. Siora spent the time cleaning her weapons while Kurt stared into the fire with a strange expression.

“You’ve been quiet lately.” She finally stated while the sky turned purple and pink 

“I’ve been thinking, that’s all.” He shrugged

“Do tell.” 

“I’ve spent most of my time out here with you since we arrived, despite the fact that I’m contracted to protect Constantin as well.” He began and she froze while he scowled, “Don’t look at me like that, I’m not going anywhere, Green Blood.” 

He pushed her slightly, mumbling something incomprehensible and probably a little mean, and she managed a laugh. It was true, he’d spent all his time with her and very rarely saw Constantin. Although, Constantin had instructed him to do so whenever they met with him back in New Serene and so she felt less badly about it. 

“I’ve been looking into replacement body guards for our young governor…and I think I have an idea who to pick. Reiner. I recruited him before we left, very talented, and loyal.” He stated

“And…you want me to meet him?” She ventured

“Your opinion counts.” He replied, finally glancing over at her

“All right.” She agreed, if in no small part because it kept Kurt at her side 

The sky progressively got darker until only the fire and the bright moon overhead lit up the world. Aphra was anxious and so De Sardet decided they could wait no longer. They doused the fire and then went into the valley, eyeing the large native settlement ahead.

“They’re in the ruins back there.” Aphra stated, pointed towards the back, “We’ll have to find a key.” 

De Sardet led the way, hugging the outside wall of the camp until she found a small opening. They slipped through unnoticed and then snuck through to the back, avoiding the rest of the natives. It was times like this that made her realize just how unprepared she really was for this kind of field work. Although she’d spent countless hours with her teacher, learning the ins and outs of their allies and the various skills it would take to convince the people around her of damn near anything, fighting for her life hadn’t quite made the cut. 

Even her many lessons with Kurt seemed to pale compared to what they were up against and he seemed to know it. He wanted to trail along when she left the major cities, wanted to make sure someone _“who knew what they were doing”_ was with her at all times. And that meant him, at least according to him. It wasn’t necessarily a trying situation to be partnered with him, though she liked to complain occasionally to keep him on his toes. 

She brought herself back as they made it to the farthest ruin and slipped down the decaying stairs. Kurt found the key to the cells and they rescued the scientists without a word, motioning for them to stay quiet as well. 

After successfully taking them back to camp, Kurt, Siora, and herself began the long trek back to civilization. She was exhausted, more so than she’d ever been on the continent, and yet she finally felt like she was doing something worthwhile. Courtly “intrigue” held its appeal for only so long and the stakes seemed much higher here. 

“I expect the Bridge Alliance will be thoroughly pleased to have their scientists back.” Kurt mused as they came in sight of a caravan driver

“Let’s hope so.” She returned, paying the man and stepping into the back of the wagon

“Thank you for leaving my people.” Siora whispered and De Sardet nodded with a smile

They all piled in back. Siora was asleep in moments, curled up at the end of the wagon like a tired puppy. Kurt was beside her, sharpening his blade methodically; something she’d recently learned was a comfort to him late at night. As she sank down beside him, she thought about reading through some of the letters she was to answer for her cousin, but the idea made her physically yawn and she decided against it. 

Instead, she leaned back against the wall of the caravan and tried to get some rest.

••••••••

“Green Blood?” His voice was very near her ear and she sighed, stretching, “Margot?”

“You never call me that.” She mumbled into his shoulder

Into his…?

She sat up too fast, nearly hitting her head against the wall and his chin in the same motion. Already sunlight was pouring down and she blushed as she realized she’d fallen asleep on Kurt at some point during the night. He didn’t seem phased, merely shrugged and led the way out of the caravan. Siora was still waking up, her wild hair in odd angles as she wiped drool from the corner of her mouth. 

“Shall we head home?” Kurt nodded towards the cluster of small homes beside the governors’ estate that had been set aside for her and her “companions”

“Let’s…go meet Reiner first.” She suggested, trying to wake up and get her emotions in check 

Kurt didn’t argue and Siora trailed along, squinting into the sun. They crossed the muddy streets of New Serene and then trailed along the main road to the tavern. Without a doubt, this was the liveliest part of the city, and today was no different. Prostitutes ducked in through the double doors, heading to the basement brothel, and a group of sailors stood outside, each with a mug of ale and a sour expression. 

They turned the corner, stepping through the grand doors of the Coin Guard Barracks. It was hot inside, and strangely muggy, but Kurt seemed to relax just being there and it made her relax too. She let Kurt take the lead this time, trailing behind him as he went to find the quartermaster. 

“I’m looking for Reiner.” He stated and the quartermaster noticeably paled 

“I…Kurt, I’m sorry, I thought you would’ve known.” He stumbled through words but already De Sardet was beginning to get the picture 

“Know what?” Kurt’s face turned cold and stern 

“Reiner’s dead.” The quartermaster finally managed, “He drowned, they say it was an accident.”

“An accident?” Already Kurt’s voice was raising

“The recruits don’t have a lot to do on leave and some of them take to drinking…it happens sometimes, Captain.” 

She watched the telltale vein in his forehead throb and his fingers began to bunch. If there was one thing that Kurt lacked, it was negotiation skills, particularly when his emotions got the better of him. She quickly intervened.

“Could we see his body?” She stepped forward

“Yes.” The quartermaster looked openly relieved, “He’s downstairs in the morgue.” 

“Thank you.” With a hand on Kurt’s elbow, she turned him away and led him to the stairs

“Reiner didn’t drink. He knew how to swim.” Kurt was spitting out words as they took the steps down

“Kurt we won’t know anything until…” 

“Don’t.” He whined, stopping mid-staircase, “The quartermaster looked at me like I was crazy too. I knew this kid, I recruited him for gods sake…”

“I know, I just…”

“I need you in my corner, Green Blood.” He sighed, “Please.”

She glanced up at him from a step below, meeting his gaze. She never really realized the weight he carried but she caught a small glimpse of it in his expression. Finally, she nodded, reaching out to squeeze his hand. 

“I’m always in your corner.” 

He seemed appeased after that and they went the rest of the way to the basement. After talking her way past the doctor, they finally stepped into the morgue. The air pressed too close there and she found herself taking shallow breaths to deal with the smell. Kurt seemed unphased by the death around him, a fact that made something in her chest hurt considerably. 

“Is it him?” 

“Yeah.” He sighed, running a hand down his face with a sigh, “That’s Reiner.” 

She took a few steps closer and peered down at the boy. Barely a man. The bruises were what first caught her attention, and then the scared expression still plastered across his face. She was acutely aware of the sweat on the back of her neck, dripping down past her collar, and of the way her heart felt sluggish and loud.

“He didn’t drown…” Kurt began an onslaught of defenses but she just shook her head, her eyebrows furrowing 

“No, he didn’t.”

And that was the start of it. The day careened into a whirlwind. Something nefarious was happening in the guard and Kurt, more so than anyone apart from herself, wanted answers. 

He abandoned her after that, saying he needed to talk to several contacts to figure out what was really going on, that he was certain someone would talk to him. As the day grew late, she contemplated going to find him but decided other duties had to take precedence. She dutifully walked Siora back to the apartments laid out for them and then retired to her own. 

In the morning, she took the long stairs up by herself to visit her cousin. There were always people at the estate and today was no different, though she found herself searching the faces that walked past her, looking for a particular coin guard. 

“Constantin.” 

“My fair cousin!” He turned to her with a weak smile, “How do you fare?” 

“Better than you, I’d say.” She returned with a frown, “Are you feeling all right?”

“It’s nothing.” He brushed his hand in front of him, dismissing her concerns, “Something I ate disagreed with me, that’s all. Eventful day?” 

“You…could say that.” She replied carefully, “Constantin…have you seen Kurt today?” 

“No…in fact I haven’t seen him in several days. Is everything all right?”

“He received some bad news, that’s all.” She shrugged and pushed the feeling away 

She wandered back through the estate and then back into the blinding sunlight. The list of things she should do loomed in the forefront of her mind but she had a nagging feeling she couldn’t quite get rid of too. 

Responsibility won out and she went home to work on the letters she’d been ignoring for days. Constantin was kind enough to send food at some point during the day but she lost track of time and soon the only thing lighting her desk was a thin, melting candle she couldn’t even remember lighting. 

Her joints ached from sitting so long and she stretched, groaning. She slipped out of the chair, turning towards her bed with a sigh. Through the window she had a clear view of the house Kurt was staying at as a guest of the governor and not a single light was visible inside. He was still missing. 

She turned back to the bed and closed her eyes, running a hand on the back of her neck with another groan. Finally, she pulled on a light coat and escaped down the stairs to the world outside. 

It was so much calmer on the island at night and New Serene was no different. She stepped into the now familiar streets and racked her mind for places that Kurt could be. The Coin Guard Barracks was the first place she looked but it was almost deserted at the hour. The Quartermaster hadn’t seen Kurt since their previous conversation and wouldn’t allow her to check further on her own. 

The tavern was also a bust. She stalked around the room upstairs and even went downstairs. She paused outside the brothel, unsure if she really wanted to know if he was there or not. For almost a full minute she stayed back, staring at the plain, unassuming door and letting her mind wander with girlish, jealous thoughts. In the end, she abandoned the tavern completely and decided to take the long way back home and get some rest. Kurt would show up eventually. 

She walked through the harbor, enjoying the smell of the sea air and the light breeze that blew through. It was almost deserted, except for the few guards out front of the various warehouses, and the silence was a welcome change. Above her, the clouds were rolling a deep grey and far, far out at the horizon a streak of lightning made her pause. 

She’d been so caught up searching for Kurt she hadn’t realized a storm was about to hit. The first few raindrops splattered against her upturned face and she darted towards the shelter of one of the warehouses, ducking beneath the overhanging roof. Almost instantly water poured in buckets down around her. Behind her, the sea ravaged and twisted with the extra water, pounding against the docks and ships near shore. 

She pulled her jacket tighter around her neck, trying to peer out into the street, but it was nearly completely obscured with the rain. She almost laughed at her bad luck and leaned back against the wall of the warehouse to wait out the storm, however long it would last. 

And that’s when Kurt jogged through the rain, ducking under the same overhanging roof and giving her a perplexed expression. 

“Green Blood?” He had his jacket over his head but lowered it when he reached the safety of the roof, “What’re you doing out here?” 

“Looking for you.” The truth came tumbling out before she could stop herself and she bit her lip nervously 

“Me?” He looked even more confused, “Don’t tell me you were worried.” 

His teasing tone came more naturally than ever and the telltale smirk rose on his lips. She realized, rather suddenly, he was drunk and she’d probably missed him at the tavern by mere minutes. He glanced behind her at the rain, shaking his head slightly to get some of the water out of his hair. 

“Doesn’t look like it’s letting up anytime soon.” He commented, slinging his wet jacket over his shoulder casually 

She silently agreed, turning past him to look at the rain. Thunder boomed, louder than ever possible in the cities back home, and she automatically stepped closer to him. It didn’t go unnoticed, though he didn’t say anything, and when lightning struck nearby they both stepped back towards the wall of the warehouse. 

“Maybe we should make a run for it.” She mumbled, trying to find the road back into the city through the rain 

“Nah, I don’t think so, Green Blood.” Kurt shook his head, “We’re safer here, believe me.” 

Time passed slowly as they stood in silence. The rain splattered hard on the muddy ground and the world slowly seemed to dissipate in front of her. Soon, she was standing in a similar, rainy storm, staring past a stone archway into her mothers bedroom.

_”Towels! Bring in more towels, she’s bleeding!” _

_“Here ma’am, try drinking this, it’ll soothe the pain.” _

_“Oh no…oh my god…”_

_De Sardet stood silently, the rain pouring around her. Already the water had soaked through her clothes, chilling her to the bone, but she felt as though she couldn’t move a single muscle. Doctors were rushing in and out of the room, carrying towels covered in bright red blood. _

_Servants were beside them, bringing in pails of water, taking out buckets of bile and who knows what else. Some brought clean towels, others walked out looking stricken and pale. Only once did her mother scream, a sound that made her teeth clamp shut painfully and her eyes water. And throughout it all, she still couldn’t move. _

_“Green Blood?” Kurt was under the stone archway when he saw her, glancing back towards the room and then to her again _

_She couldn’t answer, couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. She stared past him, watched as a doctor pulled the heavy door closed and shut her off from her only surviving parent. Kurt seemed unsure what to do as she stayed there, sopping wet and getting more soaked by the moment. _

_Finally, he stepped out from the arch and marched up to her. It wasn’t until he grabbed her arms that she startled, staring up at him. He was staring down at her hard, a rare expression, and his fingers bit tightly into her arms. _

_“You don’t need to see this.” He mumbled the words, raindrops falling from his lips as he spoke_

_She fixated on that, on the way the water ran down his face, how his grey coat was turning almost black as it soaked through with water. And then she seemed to snap out of it, a wave of embarrassment hitting her like a bullet. _

_“Kurt!” She stepped back with an almost audible gasp, “I…I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I…”_

_He simply shook his head, ignoring her excuses and her embarrassment and staying in front of her. The solid rock she’d come to depend on. It was then that the tears truly broke and she buried her face into her hands. They’d made all their plans for departure, packed up everything, made the necessary arrangements. And now, on the eve of the trip, her mother was ill. _

_And not just ill. Dying._

_“Come on.” Kurt seemed to be the only one between them able to think and he guided her out of the courtyard and up the stone steps behind them _

_Everyone they passed averted their eyes and she kept hers focused on the ground ahead, blinking each time her eyes filled with murky water. He marched her to her room, bringing them both inside. She stood there in the middle of the darkness, at the space she’d come to be most familiar with, and felt completely and totally lost. _

_He was lighting a fire by the time she had stopped the tears and the crackling noise made her flinch. Water was dripping on the floor around them, audibly plopping around her boots. When he was satisfied with the size of the fire, he came back to her, pushing her down in a chair. _

_In the next moment, with precision, he was unlacing her boots and pulling them off. He took off her wet socks and then gently pulled her back to her feet. The ground was freezing, but he pulled her over towards the fire and then set to work on her jacket. _

_“You don’t have to do this.” She breathed, frowning _

_“Shh.”_

_He unbuttoned the collar of her jacket and then continued on with stumbling hands, all the way down. He’d done this only once before, when she’d fallen and he wanted to see the damage to her back. It felt too intimate, too close. He finished with the last of the buttons and then peeled her jacket off, laying it out on the ground to dry. _

_In that moment, staring up at him with his hair in wet disarray and water still dripping occasionally from his chin, she wanted to kiss him more than she ever had before. She wasn’t sure what he was thinking at that moment, staring down at her, keeping her right in front of him, but a warmth she hadn’t felt in hours invaded her chest. _

_He brushed a wet piece of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear with a sigh. She sighed as well, staring down at the floor. Kurt glanced at the door for a moment and she felt the same twinge of paranoia, of fear that someone might bust through at any moment and catch them in such an intimate, forbidden moment. _

A crack of thunder brought her back to the scene in front of her. Kurt still seemed to be mulling over his thoughts and the storm didn’t appear to be letting up. Finally, she grabbed his arm. 

“We have to get out of here.” She pointed to the dock behind them, already flooding and overflowing, “It’s going to flood soon.”

Kurt reluctantly nodded and then lifted his jacket off his shoulder and covered her head with it. She went to protest but he already had her hand in his and was pulling her into the rain. They jogged from the docks all the way back to her apartment, laughing and stumbling. Her immediate fear of being soaked through was replaced by an almost overwhelming relief at having found Kurt again and she felt high off the feeling. 

They barreled through her door, stopping short of the stairs and leaving a gigantic wet puddle in the front entry. Kurt eyed the fire and she nodded, abandoning him for clean, dry clothes while he set to work making the room warmer. 

Still, when she came back, he was shivering. He’d abandoned his boots by the door and had unbuttoned the top of his drenched shirt as he fiddled with the poker beside the fireplace, piercing the burning wood occasionally and sending up a tuft of smoke. 

“Green Blood.” He mumbled as she walked into the room, still drunk

His expressions came easier when he was like this. He cocked his head to the side and offered her a small smile as he stood, stowing the poker again. She sighed, making her way over. 

“You’re freezing.” She felt his forehead with the back of her hand and he leaned into it with a shrug

“I’ll live.” He mumbled, taking a step closer 

“Not in that, you won’t” She reprimanded, gesturing towards his shirt 

He yawned and shrugged again and so she took the initiative, unbuttoning his shirt with fumbling, stiff fingers. He let her work, glancing down at her through long, dark eyelashes, but didn’t say a word. Finally, she pulled the shirt away, draping it on the back of a chair to dry, and then pulled him over towards the fire. She grabbed the biggest blanket she had and swung it over his shoulders, closing it tightly around him. 

They both sank down in front of the fire and she worked to warm her own chilled bones, reaching her hands out towards the flames. Kurt watched her for a moment, wrapped up like an innocent, gigantic cloud, and then opened his arms slightly.

“There’s enough room, you know?” 

She froze, staring over at him with wide eyes. But his arms were still outstretched and he seemed serious. Slowly, as if someone else were pulling the strings, she crawled over and sat down beside him. He softly wrapped an arm around her, keeping the blanket tight around them both. 

The heat was indescribable. She blushed immediately but now, nearly pressed against him, she felt like she was on fire. Kurt didn’t seem to mind, he leaned back against the edge of the couch and relaxed. She felt rigid, strange, like at any moment she’d wake up from this dream with a start. 

But then, they were alone. Far from the continent, from anyone, with a locked door between them and the rest of the island. So, she relaxed, closing her eyes and curling up slightly beside him. Kurt moved his arm to accommodate her and then leaned in to press his face to her neck with a groan. 

She twisted enough that she could get an arm free and then dragged her fingers through his hair, trying desperately to ignore the soft, almost breathy noises he made in response. She was biting her lip so hard she thought it might bleed, the silence pressing against her, when he finally spoke against her neck. 

“When you go back to the continent, they’ll marry you off to some dainty, high class, noble.” He mumbled and she felt his eyelashes move softly against her skin

“Perhaps.” She wasn’t sure what to say, her mind was moving slower than usual with him this close to her

“Is that what you want?” He pulled away slightly to look at her for a moment

“I…” 

He leaned forward again, pressing a cheek against hers and then dragging his nose along her jawline. She couldn’t breathe, she was certain she was going to suffocate or combust or something else entirely volatile. The magic she worked so hard to quell surfaced so easily and spread around them softly. 

“Hmm.” Kurt nearly purred at the feeling, his hand finding her back and gently holding her in place 

“Maybe…I won’t go back.” She breathed

He froze, pulling away to meet her gaze. Something in him seemed to snap and the drunk haze all but evaporated from him. He eyed her like an animal caught in a trap and then swallowed back whatever he was going to say. He let the blanket drop around them and she scooted away to give him space. 

“Margot I…” He looked entirely guilty, an unusual blush crossing his face, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” 

He let his face drop and then stood, retrieving his still wet shirt and sliding into it with some difficulty. He stepped into his boots and then paused by the door, his eyes momentarily closed. 

“Green Blood…I…” He turned to face her with a pained expression but she waved her hand stiffly in front of her, shaking her head

“It’s fine, really.” She replied, “Don’t worry.” 

He watched her carefully for a moment, swallowing hard, and then he opened the door. He turned back for only a moment, placing a gentle hand on her cheek and leaning down to kiss the very top of her head, and then he escaped into the rain. She watched him walk across the courtyard to his own room and then he disappeared through the door. Not a single light came on as she stood at the window, wringing the bottom of her shirt. 

She finally escaped the window, sitting down in front of the fire again and wrapping the blanket back around her. She suddenly felt very cold, and very alone. Outside the rain continued to pound against the window and as she stared at the fire with intense concentration, she felt the rest of the world drift slowly away.


	4. Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of your lovely comments give me life, thank you. One more slow burn chapter and then I promise you something more.

He kept his back to her and stared into the dark room in front of them in silence. She motioned for Siora to leave, picking a spot in the corner to bunker down and wait. 

“I…am very sorry, Kurt.” Siora whispered, her voice and eyes carrying her evident empathy

“Thank you, pretty flower.” Kurt replied mechanically, not looking back

Siora ducked away a moment later and left them together in silence. Along the walls were various chains and torture devices, all splattered with blood. The floor was sticky and if she thought about what she was standing on for too long her head spun and her stomach clenched in nauseous waves. A smell she wasn’t familiar with permeated the room, sticking to her hair and clothes. 

Kurt remained perfectly still, keeping his back to her. The past few weeks had been awkward at best after his drunken night next to her fireplace. He strayed away from her when they were together and had only reluctantly asked her for her help with this ghost camp. 

She couldn’t remember the last time they’d spent so much time apart. It gnawed at her every night, keeping her awake and crushing her ribs in on themselves. That night replayed over and over in her mind and she picked it apart, looking from every angle at what she could have done or said differently. 

“Kurt?” Her voice broke the thick silence but he didn’t move 

Finally, she took a few steps forward, falling in line beside him. He was standing in front of a small table lined with torture instruments and his eyes appeared glazed over even as he stared down at them. 

“Kurt?” She tried again, reaching out to grab his hand 

He flinched at the contact, startled, and she turned him gently to face her, trying to read his expression. It was difficult to tell what he was thinking; despite having known him for many years there was still so much about him that she barely knew. 

“I was brought to one of these camps. A long time ago.” He admitted, staring down at the floor, “It was exactly the same. The same torture, the same backstabbing between the lads, the deaths, everything.” 

“I’m so sorry, Kurt.” She whispered, because what else could you really say? 

“I thought this was all behind me…” His voice cracked slightly as he trailed off, looking anywhere but her

She realized his hand was still in hers when he pulled it away, crossing his arms across his chest. It was evident she wouldn’t get through to him, not like this, and the weeks of being ignored made it sting all the more. 

“We need to leave.” She stated and he nodded numbly 

“You’re right.” 

He didn’t put up a fight, merely fell in line behind her. The way home was taken in silence, with careful, pitying glances from Siora the whole way. They walked in through the gates of New Serene in the middle of the night and then headed off towards the row of houses beside the governors’ estate. 

“Goodnight, Siora.” She bid farewell and turned towards her own abode 

Kurt hovered a moment, rubbing the back of his neck, and then turned to walk across the courtyard. Alone again. 

“Kurt?” Her voice acted on its own and he turned to face her with a surprised expression, “I…I was wondering if you might be able to help me with something. It’ll only take a second.” 

He nodded and followed her into her space without a word. A fire already crackled, Constantin had probably sent someone for her, and the room was warm and inviting. Still, Kurt stayed by the doorway, watching her carefully. Whatever wall he’d built between them made her feel like she was constantly suffocating, and she sighed, taking off her hat. 

She motioned to a chair and he reluctantly sat down, keeping on his boots and hat. She escaped upstairs, returning with a deep, plum wine tucked beneath her arm and two glasses in hand. 

Kurt let a confused expression litter his face momentarily but took a glass without question. She sank down on the couch in front of the fire, pouring wine into their glasses, and finally relaxing. 

The horrors they’d witnessed were fresh in her mind and she drank quickly, methodically, like someone trying to mechanically fix something with the right amount of oil. The wine coated her throat and made her tight muscles unwind. Kurt swallowed nearly half the glass in a single gulp, staring intently at the fire. She kicked her shoes off, then her jacket, and tucked her feet beneath herself. 

“I…don’t know the words to say to make any of this better.” She admitted, “But I am here. And I’m not going anywhere.” 

He managed a small smile, the first she’d seen in days, and accepted more wine in his glass. This one he drank slower, leaning back against the chair and closing his eyes. 

At some point he kicked off his shoes as well and unbuttoned part of his jacket. Their eyes had both turned glassy and smiles came a little easier between them. As the fire died down, they abandoned their chairs and sank into the fur rug in front of it. De Sardet found another bottle of wine upstairs when they finished the first and she began pouring that out into their glasses. 

“I don’t know how to describe it.” He had his arm propped back on the couch, leaning heavy, “I wouldn’t even know where to start.” 

“It can’t be healthy to keep all that in.” She returned, raising her eyebrows, “What if I asked you questions?” 

“I doubt you’d know what to ask, Green Blood.” He shrugged slightly 

“What about your scars?” She tried again, “Surely some of those come from the camp. I can point them out and you can tell me about it. It might make you feel better.” 

“I…it might.” He begrudgingly agreed, taking another gulp of his wine 

She smiled, glad that he agreed, but mostly just drunk. And happy. He was here and talking to her again and despite everything that happened…well, maybe it didn’t matter what had happened. She could crush down these feelings, quell everything, if it meant keeping him as her best friend. 

“All right, shirt off then.” She pointed, sloshing a bit of wine out of her cup 

“Hah!” His eyes crinkled as he grinned, “We saw how well that worked out last time.” 

At this she fell silent, staring down at the ground. Kurt followed in the same pattern, rubbing the back of his neck. Finally, he sighed, clearing his throat. 

“I…I meant to talk to you about that.” He mumbled, “And to apologize.” 

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” 

“No? Don’t think I overstepped some major boundaries?” He was almost teasing and it perked her back up again 

“No, I don’t.” She raised an eyebrow

He met her gaze, his eyes bright. She stared back with the same, determined intensity and finally, he slowly shook his head. He sipped at his wine to give his hands something to do, staring into the fire again. 

“I’ve never met anyone else like you.” He mumbled, almost to himself 

“Careful, Kurt, that sounded an awful lot like the beginning of a compliment.” She teased and he finally grinned, pushing her slightly as she laughed 

He compromised by unbuttoning his shirt and rolling up the sleeves to his forearms. Already her eyes traced over familiar scars, flashes of bright white and more recent fresh pink skin. He took another heavy gulp and then poured himself more wine, waiting. 

“All right…” She sat cross legged in front of him, “This one.”

She dragged a solitary finger from the inside of his elbow all the way down to his wrist. He stiffened slightly but didn’t move, just stared down at the scar. 

“It was a sparring accident. With Rolf, ironically. They pit us together because we were some of the strongest in the camp at the time and they thought us constantly competing would make us stronger. It just made us resent each other.” He shrugged, “We were supposed to use wooden swords for the exercise but Rolf wanted a leg up and he sharpened his blade down and then sliced me up good.”

He squeezed his hand into a fist and then relaxed it again over and over, watching the scar shift with the shape of his muscles. She tried to imagine what he was like as a child but all she could imagine was a mini version of the man in front of her, tough as nails and cynical about the world. 

“What about this one?” 

She wasted no time, afraid he’d stop, and picked another scar. This one was near his ribs and he flinched as she dragged soft fingers against it, grabbing her hand with a grin. 

“Ticklish, after all?” She smiled

“Careful, Green Blood.” He released her hand, “That’s privileged information.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.” She assured him but grinned mischievously nonetheless 

“Hmm.” He pondered the source of the scar, stretching out on his side and propping himself up using his elbow, “Not a very happy story, I’m afraid.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Kurt.” She reassured him 

“You saw what happened to Reiner. What was going to happen to those other boys eventually.” He skirted around the story, “My luck ran out.”

“You were sent to night training?” She mumbled and he nodded, sipping more wine, “Why?” 

At this he paused, glancing up at her. The fire played strange shadows across his face and she couldn’t quite read his expression. 

“There was another recruit…Kayla.” His eyebrows furrowed, “She was the same age as us but so small. A wiry, short thing…tough as nails. We were partnered to spar one day. It wasn’t a fair fight, not really, and it took no time to knock her down. They wanted me to teach her a lesson but…”

He trailed off, frowning. De Sardet watched him carefully, wearing a matching frown. So much of what they’d found in the camp proved to be heinous and hearing that Kurt, so many years ago, had gone through the very same thing made every part of her ache in an incomprehensible way. 

“I couldn’t do it. I threw down my sword and walked back to the barracks. My name showed up on the roster for night training the following night.” He stared down into his glass, “I don’t know how long it lasted. I don’t remember much of anything that night. In the morning the sun rose and I was still lying on the ground, covered in bruises and blood. I limped back to the camp and they set me back to work and pretended nothing happened.” 

“What happened to Kayla?” She asked after a moment 

“She died.” He replied, “They said it was a training exercise, to foster endurance. They locked several recruits in a small, pitch black room and then left them there for days, no food, no water. When they came back, only two of the recruits came out. Kayla was in the corner. They said she wasn’t strong enough, but I saw the body…she’d hung herself.”

“I’m sorry, Kurt.” But he shook his head, waving a hand 

“It was a lifetime ago, Green Blood. And you helped me take this last camp down. I can’t expect more than that.” 

She sighed, not completely satisfied with the answer but realizing it was the best she was going to get anytime soon. Kurt sipped at his wine again and she took a gulp of her own. Finally, she set the glass down, eyeing him once again. 

“This one?” She pointed to a tiny, misshapen scar towards the back of his neck 

“You don’t remember?” His mood shifted and a smirk crossed his lips

“Should I?” 

“Well, you gave it to me.”

“I did not!” 

“You did.” His smirk only seemed to widen, “It was a month or so before we left.”

“It…was an accident.” The memory was resurfacing now and her eyes grew wide

“I don’t remember much of an accident…”

She groaned, shoving her face against her hands. It was true, it wasn’t much of an accident. It had happened right after she and Constantin had been told of the expedition to the island. They were to leave in less than a month, all the necessary preparations were being made. 

_”I’m telling you, I don’t think he’s coming.” Constantin stated as they left the throne room, walking together through the castle_

_“You really don’t think they hired a master of arms to come with us?” She rolled her eyes, trying to hide her fear, “Come now, Constantin, don’t be daft.”_

_“They might have hired ‘a’ master of arms, but not Kurt.” He replied with a shrug, “I’m told he has prior engagements to take care of.” _

_She paused, frowning. She didn’t believe him, Constantin so often followed the gossip mill around the castle despite being proven false so many times. She shrugged, pretending not to care and headed off to her room to start planning the voyage. It was on the way, walking through an upstairs corridor, that she happened to glance down below at the courtyard. _

_The sun had already set and lanterns were all the light allowed in the small area. Suddenly, two figures emerged. She recognized Kurt immediately, but had never seen the woman attached to his arm. She paused despite herself, staring down at them as they walked through the courtyard in silence. _

_It didn’t matter, that’s what she told herself. Kurt had made it abundantly clear that he was merely their master of arms…and more recently a body guard. They paid him…he was only there for a job. Whatever she’d conjured up in her head in recent months…_

_She repeated the lines in her head as she rushed away, crashing through the door to her room. There, in the middle of the room, she stood very still and tried to slow her heartbeat. _

_“It doesn’t matter.” She breathed, squeezing her eyes shut, “It doesn’t matter.”_

_Finally, despite the twisted feeling in her chest, she turned and lit a few candles and began to write down everything she needed to get done in the next few weeks to be ready for such a voyage. It made her feel better to be busy and she had several lists written out by the time she heard a knock at her door. _

_“Come in.” She stayed at her desk, continued to write rapidly_

_“Getting ready to leave, Green Blood?” He walked into the room without an introduction, swinging a chair around and sitting on it the wrong way to watch her_

_A flame of indignation shot through her. He was certainly in a good mood. She watched him, afraid her expression would give her away, and then shrugged, trying to remain neutral and bored looking. _

_“You seem upset…” He frowned, “Don’t tell me you’re afraid to leave…”_

_“Afraid?” She sported a matching frown, standing _

_“Sure.” He shrugged and smirked, “Leaving behind your posh lifestyle in favor of a rugged landscape. Leaving the nest, so to speak.”_

_She glared at him, her magic flowing nearly freely. She imagined him with the woman she’d seen before, imagined all the things she’d once imagined for herself. She couldn’t contain the blush that crossed her face but stalked across the room and turned her back to him, ferociously sorting papers. _

_“I’m not afraid.” She bit back anything else, still glaring _

_“Yes, very convincing, Green Blood.” He teased her, “Well, you won’t have to worry too much. Your beloved master of arms will be there to accompany your every step.” _

_She turned back, surprised. So Constantin had been wrong. Somehow, it was worse. So, so much worse. Her mind went a mile a minute, coming up with all sorts of ideas for the unnamed woman. Perhaps he was leaving her behind, a temporary situation while he stayed on the island for a few months time. He probably would have made her some promise, something grand and romantic to keep her waiting for him. _

_Or perhaps she was just a fling, one of the prostitutes from the coin guard tavern farther in town. Constantin had remained staunchly convinced that all coin guards used the brothel and that Kurt was no exception. Maybe he’d paid her for an early night and was walking her back. _

_De Sardet wasn’t sure which was worse but her insides felt like they were tying into knots regardless. Kurt either didn’t notice or wasn’t sure how to handle her. He turned the chair around, giving her a strange expression. _

_“Well, don’t act too excited.” He mumbled sarcastically and something split inside her _

_She wasn’t sure what happened, it all was so quick. One minute she was leaning over the table, arms locked rigidly, and then the next she’d turned so quickly to face him. The magic inside her jumped, out of control, and in a moment it had hit him, knocking him nearly out of the chair and shattering a mirror against the opposite wall. _

_“Kurt!” Whatever rage she’d conjured up evaporated and was replaced with fear _

_She rushed to his side, grabbing a rag as she went and pressing it tightly to the back of his neck where he was bleeding. He looked surprised but not angry like she thought he would. Already, she was beginning to heal the cut away with magic, her hands shaking. _

_“Don’t think I deserved that one.” He mumbled, raising an eyebrow_

_“I’m so sorry.” Her embarrassment came back tenfold, “Kurt…I didn’t mean…”_

_“So what’d I do to get that punishment?” He cocked his head and looked up at her, feeling the new skin form beneath his fingertips with her magic_

_“I…nothing. I’m so, so sorry, I didn’t…” She couldn’t find the words, “Please…promise you won’t tell Constantin.” _

_He would know. Of course, he’d know. After their stupid conversation back to her room and now suddenly Kurt was hurt and bleeding in her room, it was obvious. _

_“I dunno, Green Blood.” Kurt was uncharacteristically lighthearted for some reason, “My promises come at a price.” _

_“Anything you want.” _

_This seemed to surprise him and he pushed her a few more times to tell him what had really made her upset in the first place. She flat out refused to tell him and finally he mulled over what he wanted in return for his silence. _

_“All right.” He glanced up at her again, “When you’re free of your courtly duties, come find me. If I’m going to this island I want to be relaxed…and this shoulder hurts something awful now.” _

_He made a show of twisting his arm this way and that, rubbing at his shoulder dramatically as he smirked and teased her. She didn’t care, she agreed to the massage in a heartbeat to save her own ego. But courtly duties took up most of her time until they left and the deal was long forgotten in the mess that was arriving to the island. _

And now here they were, half-dressed and drunk together. Kurt was watching her expression carefully, apparently delighted to see her face a new shade of red altogether. 

“You never did tell me why you were so angry.” He mumbled

“It doesn’t matter.” She sighed, “And I still owe you that massage.”

“I heard a rumor…” He began but she was already shushing him and turning him around in front of her 

“From Constantin, actually…” He tried again, glancing back 

“Do you want this massage or not?” 

He laughed but quieted all the same. She dug her thumbs into his shoulders, eliciting a deep groan that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She worked her way from his shoulder blades to his spine, sliding down slowly and methodically. 

“You could be a professional.” He mumbled, eyes closed, a breathy sigh escaping 

After a few more minutes he leaned back, turning to face her with a smirk again. She held him up slightly, raising her eyebrows and giving him her best unimpressed expression. 

“She was my cousin, Green Blood.” He teased, “She’d come in from out of town to bid me farewell before the journey.” 

Her face lit and she pushed him away as he laughed, shoulders shaking. Constantin would have ratted her out, the traitor. Her face was still burning bright red, her neck warm, as she continued to chart his back: pressing her fingers and thumbs in deep to try to distract herself. 

"I didn't take you as the jealous type, De Sardet." He couldn't get enough and she groaned, pinching him 

"I'm not jealous, Kurt." She retorted but the blush remained

"You don't have to worry, I only have eyes for you." He was still teasing her, it was a joke, but something clenched in her chest at the words and she shook her head 

Finally, after more minutes passed, Kurt sighed, thoroughly relaxed. She paused a moment, deciding she’d already been embarrassed and so what was one more thing really? She leaned forward a bit, lightly pressing her lips to the scar as goosebumps erupted over the exposed areas of his neck and arms. 

“I hope we’re even.” She stated as he turned, pink growing across his cheeks

“More than even.” He laid back against the ground and closed his eyes, “I feel like I owe you now. That was…well…”

It was the first time in a very long time that she’d seen him so relaxed and peaceful, despite the night they’d had earlier. She brushed a stray piece of hair from his face and his eyes fluttered open, slowly and sleepily. 

“I…thank you, Margot.” He said it quietly, staring up at her, “I mean for all this.” 

“Anytime, Kurt. I mean it.” She retorted, sipping the rest of her wine and leaning back on one hand 

“Don’t say that.” He teased, “I’ll be over every night.” 

She wanted to say that that would be just fine with her but she hesitated and then dropped the idea altogether. She reached for the bottle, finding it empty.

“Well, perhaps it’s time for bed after all.” She laughed, letting the bottle clink to the ground 

Kurt stood, pulling her to her feet. She took a few steps towards the stairs, stumbling, and the glass careened out of her hand and shattered on the floor. Kurt caught her in the next motion, keeping her from face planting into the ground. 

“Can’t handle your liquor, Green Blood?” He teased, keeping her upright 

“Ha. Ha. Kurt.” She mumbled sarcastically, turning in his arms 

Her legs felt funny now that she was standing, like all the alcohol had rushed from the rest of her body into her brain and now she was left with numb appendages. Kurt had both her arms, keeping her cemented in front of him. He seemed to notice in that moment just how close they were and his eyes widened slightly. 

“I…excellency.” He nearly let her go but thought better of it when she swayed unnaturally 

“Don’t call me that.” She wrinkled her nose, pressing her hands to his chest for leverage 

She flattened the collar of his shirt absentmindedly, toying with a button as he sighed. No doubt she was exasperating. 

“I care about you a lot, you know?” She mumbled the words, suddenly very tired

“And I care about you, Green Blood.” He returned, his face softening slightly

“Do you ever feel lonely, Kurt?” 

“All the time.” He shrugged, “Why?” 

“After our many years together? I thought I’d done a good job of keeping you company.” She joked but it fell flat 

“You did.” He brushed hair from her face absentmindedly, “I hold these memories dear.” 

“But?” 

“Why’re you asking? Are you feeling lonely?” He deflected

“Yes.” 

His eyes widened very slightly and she leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his chest. She was feeling lonely. And tired. And a little hopeless. Kurt kept hold of her arms, trying halfheartedly to keep her back. 

“Green Blood…” But she didn’t answer, “Margot.”

“I’m sorry.” She replied, muffled by his chest, “I’m suddenly so tired, Kurt.” 

He knew she meant more than just physically but he figured now was as good a time as any to get her to bed. She sighed and he took his moment, slipping a hand behind her back and then bending to grab her legs. He had her in his arms in an instant and she broke into a weak smile. 

“Off to bed then?” The words barely made it past her lips as she wrapped a light arm around his neck 

“You have an early morning tomorrow.” It came out almost like a scold, but she barely registered it 

“You could stay.” 

She was definitely drunk and his ears burned at the comment but he continued up the stairs without faltering, setting her gently on the bed. Her eyes fluttered closed on impact and she sighed again. 

“Stay.” She breathed the word

“You know I can’t, Green Blood.” He whispered, rubbing the back of his neck 

She leaned up but he stopped her, despite the hurt expression that crossed her face. He appeased her by brushing her hair away, letting a palm linger against her cheek. 

“Not like this.” He whispered, leaning close and resting his forehead against hers for a moment

She took it as a promise for the future, whatever that future meant or held, and relaxed back against the pillows again. He kept his hand against her cheek another moment, sighing. 

“You’re a hard woman to deny, De Sardet.” He breathed and she managed a tired smirk in response

He pulled the blanket up around her as she was falling asleep and then retreated back downstairs to cool down before he escaped to bed.


	5. Part Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus, it's been a crazy couple of weeks. Hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Expect NSFW in the upcoming chapters. <3

Back in the throne room, she had a moment to breathe. For the first time in what felt like ages. Kurt trailed behind her and the events of the day trailed with him. How easily Kurt could have killed them all. 

His silence only made whatever strange, constricted feeling in her chest tighten all the more. Had he considered it? Would he change his mind one day? 

“Please, check on Constantin and his advisors.” She muttered and Vasco and Aphra nodded, taking off towards the basement

She stood very still for a moment, staring at nothing in particular. Kurt stood equally quiet, though he watched her intently. Her shoulders were squared, her head high. He found himself admiring the woman in front of him, the woman he’d grown up beside. She was so much stronger than he’d ever given her credit for. 

And then, suddenly, she was turning towards him. It took him a moment to register the tears trickling down her cheeks before she pressed herself against his chest. 

“Green Blood.” He whined, arms opening naturally but not wrapping around her, just hanging limply in midair 

She didn’t answer, just tightened her arms around his middle and choked on a sob. He sighed, finally giving in and winding his arms around her. One hand he kept pressed between her shoulder blades, pressing hard. The other he wove into her disheveled hair, guiding her face to his shoulder. 

“Breathe, Green Blood. Remember your training.” He whispered

But training was the last thing on his mind. There was no training to deal with this grief, he knew that all too well. Another sob rocked her small frame, rattling against his chest. He lowered his head slightly, resting his chin on the top of her head and cocooning her from the rest of the world for a moment. 

He could feel her fingers tighten and twist in the back of his shirt, winding her way closer somehow. He brushed a thumb against the back of her head, hushing her again. 

Finally, she calmed, her breathing slowing considerably. She rested against him a few more moments and in an unforgivable moment of weakness he pressed his face to her hair and sighed in her scent. He’d always been one to take the tiny moments of good, wherever he could find them. He doubted there would be another like this anytime soon. 

“You know…” She sighed and pulled away, “You’re only contracted to protect Constantin and his cousin…and I’m no longer that cousin.” 

“Don’t be stupid.” The words tumbled out before he could stop them but she managed a small smile nonetheless, “I don’t care who you really are, De Sardet. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Thank you, Kurt. Honestly, for everything. You could’ve killed Cosntantin and I…”

“Do you really believe that?” He interrupted with a stern expression

She stared up at him through wet eyelashes, her eyes wide. He stared back with the same intensity, having to physically restrain himself from pulling her back into his arms again. A blush formed at the back of his neck and kept him frozen in place. 

“No…” She finally broke the silence and smiled to herself, “I think you’d miss me too much.”

Her tone was joking but there was an underlying truth to it. The guard had ordered him to fulfill a contract and he had refused, for the first time in his life. For her. 

Her eyes and cheeks were still wet when he guided her back to her room. Outside was a wreckage from the attack and he maneuvered her as quickly as he could so she saw the least of it. They both marched upstairs to her room and she sat on the edge of the bed, exhausted. It took only moments for her to unwind her hair from her tattered braid and her long, dark curls loosened and fell down her back. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her hair down and he stood, transfixed. It made her look so innocent and something hurt terribly in his chest as he watched her. She glanced back, eyes tracing over his face with obvious concern. 

“You look exhausted.” She commented finally 

“It’s been a long day.” He shrugged

“You should rest.” 

“I…want to make sure no one else is coming to harm you.” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck 

“Kurt…”

“It’ll make me feel better, Green Blood.” He sank down into a chair by the door, “Please.” 

She eyed him for a moment, weighing her options, and then finally twisted and laid back against the bed. Kurt sighed, resting his head back against the wall and trying to relax. 

“You can stay…if you come lie down.” 

He stiffened, meeting her gaze. It wasn’t like that night so many weeks ago, her mind was clear and she was intent. She watched him battle his options without a word. He didn’t intend to leave, not when they’d so narrowly escaped death.

Finally he stood, without a word, and walked to the other side of the bed. He shed his boots, his outer layers, and sat down on the edge. De Sardet had already closed her eyes, feeling blindly towards her knees for a blanket. 

He sighed almost silently and then slipped under it with her, staring up at the canopy of her bed. He was enveloped with warmth almost immediately and his head was spinning. The pillows smelled like her, something soft and floral, and he twitched slightly at the thought. 

“I feel like the whole world is ripping and I’m falling over the edge.” She whispered after a moment, “I’m afraid.” 

“It’s all right to be afraid.” He whispered back, closing his eyes

“I feel like I came close to losing you.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, Green Blood.”

After a moment he felt the bed move but he kept his eyes shut, trying to breathe slow. He imagined she was sitting up, looking at him from above. Maybe she regretted asking him to stay. 

But in another breath, she had turned and pressed her head against his shoulder. His arm wrapped around her naturally and he cursed himself for being so weak, for allowing all this to happen at all. She draped an arm over his chest and sighed, muscles relaxing one by one against him. 

Outside, the window panes were growing dark and the room slowly sank into monochrome. He opened his eyes once, getting adjusted to the dark, and then tightened his grip on her. How close he’d come to losing her today. To losing everything. 

In that moment, despite how wrong it might have been, he didn’t care. She was there beside him, safe, protected. He closed his eyes again and sighed into her hair. His arms tightened around her once more, holding her as close as he could. Her fingers twitched slightly, along his side, and then they both fell into a deep sleep together.

••••••••

She stalked through the streets, feeling equal parts displaced and jaded. Most of New Serene was empty and although Kurt had made her promise to take a guard every time she left home, she staunchly refused. It had been a week since the attack and the island had tumbled back to normalcy, as far as she could tell.

And anyway, Kurt had left before morning the night of the coup, leaving her completely along, so what did his opinion count?

She turned into the tavern, pausing only a moment at the wave of warmth, and then took the stairs down to the basement. She felt for coins in her pouch and made a line straight for the arena. 

“Green Blood?” 

She froze, her hand still outstretched towards the door. There was nothing inherently bad about what she was doing…but she was certain Kurt wouldn’t approve. 

“What’re you doing here?” He got up from his table, abandoning his ale amongst a litter of empty mugs

“Just practicing.” She shrugged, a half truth 

“Practicing?” He gave her a skeptical expression, “At the arena?”

“Just some stress relief, Kurt.” She replied, “I just like to forget everything going on for a while.” 

“If you want stress relief, fight at the barracks, where it’s controlled.” He scolded her and something lit fast in her core

“Are our fights suddenly going to be controlled?” She glared

“People die in the arena, Green Blood.” 

“I’m not a child anymore.” 

He stayed very still, watching her, his mouth a frown. There had been less time to talk lately and after he’d left her alone that night, waking to an empty bed in the morning, she’d felt a growing anger she couldn’t quite control around him. 

“Please don’t do this alone.” He tried a new tactic

“I’ve already signed up.” She shrugged

“Then this is what I’m using it for. My wish.” He said suddenly, crossing his arms

“What?” 

“On the ship, our sparring competition. You said I get one wish. This is what I want.” 

“It’s really that important to you?” She frowned, “To waste it on this?” 

“Your protection hardly seems a waste.” 

She stayed between him and the door a moment longer. Perhaps this had been foolhardy. Not a lot made sense anymore, not since learning her past and Constantin getting sick. 

“Fine.” She gave in with a sigh, “But save your wish for something better.” 

She collapsed at the table he’d held previously, reaching forward and finishing the rest of the drink left in his mug. They sat in silence for a while, staring at anything but the other, and then Kurt escaped to get more drinks. She shrugged out of her cape and jacket and then leaned back in the corner to watch the few people around her. 

When Kurt returned with four more glasses, he stared at her for quite some time. It was no secret that she’d been quiet and moody lately. Leaving in the middle of the night had seemed like the best decision at the time but now he was beginning to regret it. 

“Something on your mind?” He asked finally as she finished her first drink 

“Oh…I…I’m all right.” She shrugged, “Just…nothing makes much sense right now.” 

“Oh?” 

“My entire past has been a lie. Constantin, who I’ve spent my entire life protecting, gets sick anyway and will likely die a terrible death.” She sighed, “This island was supposed to be full of promise but it’s been a curse since the beginning.” 

Kurt wasn’t really sure what to say. She was right, of course, and many bad things had happened since they’d arrived. But there was a selfish part of him that was also glad they’d come. Even if nothing ever happened between them, he’d grown closer to her than he ever thought possible. 

She was well onto finishing her second drink when he came out of his thoughts. She still seemed angry, more so than anything else, and he was certain that anger was at least partially pointed at him. 

“Well…you’ve got me, Green Blood.” 

“Sometimes I’m not sure I do.” She stared down at her mug

“You know I’m not going anywhere.” He retorted

“No…I suppose you’re right.” She frowned again, “Never retreating but…never coming any closer either.” 

‘I…” He trailed, surprised

She glanced up for a moment, a light blush crossing her cheeks, and then stared back down at the table. When she finished her second drink he reached forward, grabbing her hand and forcing her to look at him. 

“You want me closer, Margot?” 

She was surprised by the question. More surprised by her hesitancy. It’s what she’d wanted for a long time, had hoped and yet never expected. She squeezed his hand and then slowly nodded. 

His eyes traced over her face slowly but still he kept her hand in his, rubbing a thumb over her knuckles. A drunkard fell nearby, cursing, and broke them from the stupor. 

“Let’s…go for a walk.” She suggested

He agreed and they slipped from the tavern unnoticed. She led the way towards the docks, hoping to relax in the sea breeze. Her nerves felt taut, frayed, and yet she stayed beside him nonetheless. 

They finally reached the edge of the pier, surrounded by deep, black water. She knelt down to touch it, feeling how cool it was, before she turned her attention back to him. 

“Do you have any childhood memories, Kurt?” She asked, realizing suddenly that most of her childhood was now tainted with a gigantic lie 

“Some, yes.” He replied, “Why?”

“I’m just curious if you have any happy memories.” 

“It’s odd actually…when I think about my happiest memories, it’s a more recent one that comes to mind.” He stared out at the black ocean, “We skipped practice for the day and escaped down to that little river. We swam all day. Do you remember?” 

And she did, of course. 

It was a hot, summer day and although they’d intended to spar all afternoon, neither of them felt particularly inclined. Constantin was in a meeting with his fathers advisors and Kurt, who’d been with them for years now, had developed a soft spot for her when they were alone. It didn’t take a lot of convincing to get him to forego training for a day. 

_”Come, I’ll show you a good spot to relax.” She took the lead, grabbing his hand when they were outside the palace and dragging him down back roads until they made it to the edge of the city_

_They crossed a small collection of farms and then, farther out, a tiny forest. Beyond that was the river. Constantin had taken her here many times as a child, playing amongst the rocks and bushes and pretending to be warriors. _

_That day the sun beat down on them and the cool, slow river was an invitation neither of them could refuse. She sat on the edge, stripping off her boots and rolling up her pants to stick her feet in. _

_Kurt had already abandoned his shirt and boots and jumped right in. It was the most carefree she’d ever seen him. _

_After a few minutes of sweating, she gave in, and slipped into the water as well. He splashed her, always teasing her, but then swam up close. It was then she noticed the scar on his collarbone and how it had finally healed completely. She braved a solitary finger against it, dragging the entire length. She was almost certain she saw him shiver but he said nothing to indicate it had happened. _

_“Looks like you’re all healed up.” She mused _

_“Thanks to you.” _

_She blushed, sinking down below the water so he wouldn’t see. Being so close, with her soaking clothes the only thing between them, was equal parts terrifying and thrilling. _

_She couldn’t tell what Kurt was thinking as he laid back, floating easily in the water. She counted more scars, some she’d never noticed before, and then tried to focus on something else. _

_When the water child them both, they climbed back onto shore and sprawled out to dry in the sun. She reached her arms out fully, basking in the warmth, and then brushed her fingers against his side absentmindedly as he sucked in. _

_“Trying to find a weakness, Green Blood?” He asked at the ticklish sensations _

_“Always.” She joked, turnig slightly to stick her tongue out at him _

_“Won’t find any here.” He teased, “You on the other hand…”_

_He pounded in the next moment, digging his fingers into her sides. She shrieked and twisted to get away but he abandoned the attack just as quickly, laughing at her. _

_“Just like I thought.” He smirked, “All this training and still just a royal dainty.”_

_He stood, brushing himself off and sliding into his shirt as she recovered. She pushed herself up and then ran at him, wrapping her arms around his waist. It surprised him enough that he lost balance, grunting, and then they tumbled back into the water. _

_They both dunked under and her fingers tightened into his shirt. He pulled them both up, both sputtering. She looked equally surprised that the plan had actually worked and he stared at her with wide eyes. _

_He broke into a grin, dunking her back underwater with a laugh. She pulled him with her and they tangled and fought beneath the slow waves. _

_Finally, somewhat even, they dragged themselves back to shore. The sun was beginning to set and there was no way their clothes would dry out like before. She rung hers out as much as she could and he did the same before they began the long trek back to the palace. _

_Halfway there she shivered and he abandoned his jacket, the only dry clothes between them, on her shoulders. She wrapped it tightly around her and they snuck back through the servants entrance. _

_“I…thanks, Green Blood.” He mumbled as they neared her room, “It’s been a while since we…since I could just enjoy my day.” _

_“I should be thanking you.” She replied with a grin, his jacket still wrapped tight around her, “Maybe you’ll skip practice more often now.” _

_“Don’t count on it.” He scolded her but the smirk was there nonetheless _

_She slipped into her room, closing the door and leaning back against it with a sigh. She realized too late that she still had his jacket but decided to return them another day. She switched into pajamas, sliding into bed with a sigh. Her cheeks stung, probably sunburnt, but she felt a warmth all over she’d never felt before. A contentedness that made her relax. _

_She pulled the jacket from a chair beside the bed and held it close. It was a moment of weakness, one she never admitted to anyone, but she didn’t care._

Kurt was staring at her thoughtfully as she let the memory stray from her mind. 

“What?” Her neck felt warm under her gaze and she shifted between her feet

“Just thinking.” 

“About what?” 

“I may have figured out what I want my wish to be.” He replied with a nonchalant shrug, closing his eyes and facing the breeze from the sea

“Do tell.” She laughed, standing beside him 

He opened his eyes, staring into the darkness once more. Out here she could only see the outline of him: the edge of his nose and chin, his eyelashes at the right angle, his broad shoulders. 

She was going to say something, the words were on the tip of her tongue. Maybe a tease, just to break the tension, to bring him back. 

But in the next moment, he slid his hand against her cheek, hooking fingertips behind her jaw and turning her face towards his. Before she could make a noise he brushed his lips against hers, soft and barely there. 

Her lips parted as he pulled away, accessing her expression. Maybe she looked stupefied, she wasn’t sure, but he smirked and brushed her hair behind her ear absentmindedly.

“I hope you don’t mind.” He muttered, brushing his nose against her temple

The tease sent a shock through her system and sh snapped, twisting her fingers into his collar and pulling him forward. He nearly stumbled, his hands finding purchase on her hips and his mouth crushing down on hers. 

One hand stayed at her hip and the other tangled into her hair, keeping her close. A breathy groan escaped past his lips into her mouth and she nearly shivered. How many times had she imaged this? Reluctantly, Kurt pulled away, pressing another quick kiss to her mouth and then retreating fully.

She didn’t realized her heart was beating so quickly until he was a breath away, watching her. She opened her mouth to say something but the words wouldn’t come out and eventually she just grinned stupidly. 

Kurt looked openly relieved at the expression and sported a matching grin of his own. He pressed his forehead to hers, closing his eyes for a moment and then pulling back completely. 

‘I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.” He mumbled absentmindedly 

She grinned, blushing again, and pushed her hair out of her face to give her hands something to do. Finally, he sighed, content, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

“Let’s get you home.” 

They walked home in silence, the streets nearly empty around them. Kurt kept his arm wrapped around her tightly and she relaxed. It didn’t matter what happened next, in this moment she was exactly where she wanted to be. 

But, it turned out it did matter to her. The future. Even the immediate one. As they neared her home she felt her throat constrict. What if he abandoned her here? What if this wasn’t…

He must have felt her stiffen because he paused outside the door, turning her towards him. He couldn’t read her expression but he frowned nonetheless, trying to fill in the blanks. 

“Don’t feel like you have to…” He began 

“Was that a one time thing?” She asked as his eyes widened, “I mean the kiss. This. Us. All of this.” 

“I…do you want it to be?” 

“No, I don’t.” She replied, bold in her fear

“Then…no.” He replied with a soft smile, “That was a…whenever you want, kind of thing.” 

She relaxed slightly and then slipped inside, going upstairs. Kurt hesitated but then followed her. Already she could see the very tip of the sun rising and she groaned, exhausted. Kurt came behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder and wrapping his arms loosely around her so she couldn’t look at him. 

“Do you want me to stay?” His voice was quiet and uncharacteristically serious 

“Yes.”

And she did. She wanted him near, in any capacity. She felt his arms stiffen very slightly and then he was pulling away and sitting down on the edge of the bed to take his boots off. 

She mirrored him on the other side, sliding out of her jacket. Kurt peeled off his shirt and then laid back on the bed, watching her untangle her hair. 

Finally, she doused the candles that lit the room and crawled under the covers. They stayed apart for a moment before she turned, resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her, taking a deep, sleepy breath. 

“Goodnight, Kurt.” She whispered, her hand running soft patterns through his chest hair 

“Hmm g’night, Green Blood.” He was barely awake now, his breathing soft and steady 

She stayed away a few more minutes, listening to his heartbeat and feeling his skin beneath her fingertips. Finally, content, she tumbled over the side of sleep. 

In the morning, she woke warm. Kurt was pressed against her from behind, an arm wrapped tightly around her middle to keep her in place and his face pressed against the back of her neck. His breath raised goosebumps and she shivered despite the heat. 

She managed to twist very slightly and then faced him, still asleep. She watched the muscles of his face pinch and his fingers tightened absentmindedly. He frowned and then a muffled noise escaped past his lips. She gently touched his cheek and he flinched. A nightmare. 

“Kurt?” Her voice was barely a whisper but it broke whatever held hold of him 

He blinked slowly, once, twice, and then closed his eyes again, still half asleep. He kissed her without thinking, like it was the most natural thing in the world, and then wrapped his arms around her again and tucked her beneath his chin. His breathing was slow and steady again and she settled back between his arms. Maybe things could be ok after all.


	6. Part Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **\---NSFW---**

“Are you all right?” 

“More than all right.” He turned to face her with bright eyes, “Better than I’ve been in a long time.” 

She managed a smile easily. It seemed the guard was finally on the right track. Kurt’s demons had been squashed, at least most of them, and it was almost as if an actual weight had been lifted from him. 

“We should celebrate.” She offered with a grin and he matched her expression 

“We should.” He agreed

She nodded towards the tavern and they both slipped inside. It was still midday but the tavern was already busy. She moved through the crowd, finding an empty corner, while Kurt commandeered drinks. 

“To the future of the guards.” She raised her glass towards him as he settled into the seat across from her

“To friends you can count on.” He countered, clinking glasses with her 

“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you so relieved.” She mused, sipping on her drink

“Oh, I don’t know.” He shrugged and leaned back, draping an arm across the back of the booth, “I was pretty relieved the first time I kissed you.” 

She blushed but grinned nonetheless. It had barely been a week since that night and already they’d fallen into a comfortable norm. She figured Kurt would pull back, take it slow and safe, but if anything she’d been the one to set the pace and he followed along, happy to be beside her in any capacity. She watched him carefully now that he wasn’t looking directly at her, tracing over his familiar features. 

She finished her drink, toying with a deck of cards on the table in front of them absentmindedly. She divided the deck in half and then shuffled them expertly. 

“You still remember how to play?” He teased her 

“As if I’d had a chance to forget.” She rolled her eyes, “We played the whole way over here.” 

He motioned for her to deal and she did. Five cards each and then three overturned between them. It was a game she would have been certain he made up if she didn’t occasionally beat him at it. 

She glanced down at her cards, a good hand, but tried to give nothing away. Kurt was infinitely better at that part, assuming a bored expression even when the stakes were high. She twirled a ring around her pointer finger, lost in her thoughts. He’d taught her to play almost right after they’d first met, during one of his first nights at the palace. She took her eyes off the cards in front of her and focused on the ring more intently. 

_She had a moment to breathe when the match ended, her fingers still locked around the wooden sword. They’d practiced almost every day the past two weeks, edging around each other as strangers. _

_The sun was almost setting then and Kurt paused in the lesson, glancing towards the sky. His gaze rolled towards his own room, away from everyone else. She couldn’t quite read his expression but he seemed resigned either way and not particularly bothered. He stored the wooden swords they’d been practicing with, ending the lesson. _

_“Are you settling into the palace?” She asked, brushing her hair out of her face _

_“It’s…different.” He admitted, “I’m used to full barracks and never having a moment alone.” _

_“There’s plenty of time to be alone here.” She mumbled_

_He glanced over with a curious expression but didn’t say anything. They walked in silence away from the courtyard and back towards the living area. With the sun finally setting, almost everyone had retired to their rooms for the night, but Kurt paused outside the hallway to his room and glanced her way. _

_“You ever play any card games, Green Blood?” _

_“No.” She answered truthfully _

_He seemed to debate the answer, looking her over. He’d only been there a couple of weeks and already he wasn’t certain it was the posting for him. Little action, rarely anything like he was used to, and instead of being a solider he felt like a glorified babysitter. Although he snuck away to the tavern some nights, he still felt alone. _

_“I’m a fast learner though.” She mumbled, glancing up at him _

_“All right.’ He shrugged and then followed her into the kitchen _

_They posted up at a table and he drank ale while she focused on the cards in front of them. He shuffled them dramatically and then passed out five each. _

_He explained the rules but it was a lot to keep up with and the first few hands they played were practice. She showed her cards, face up on the table, and he pointed to each one as they went and told her what to do. _

_The night wore on slowly. Gradually, the tough guard exterior broke slightly and the real Kurt began to shine through. It was the first night she’d really talked to him. _

_“I’ve never seen you with anyone other than Constantin.” He remarked during their first real game, betting half gold coins _

_“He’s a full time job.” She shrugged, eyes furrowing as she looked down at her cards_

_“Your expressions are giving you away, Green Blood.” He chastised her and she blushed, “Don’t you have any other friends?” _

_“You mean other than you?” _

_She blushed deeper at his surprised expression and then turned over one of her cards, an ace. He switched it for one of his own and she picked from the deck. They played two more rounds and he thoroughly beat her in both. The few coins she carried with her were gone, not that it made much of a difference, but she wanted to keep playing. _

_“Sorry, Green Blood, that’s the rule.” He shrugged, “You can’t play if you have nothing to bet.”_

_“What about this?” She took off the ring on her pointer finger and held it up _

_“Your ring?” He raised an eyebrow and took it from her, “I’m sure that cost a pretty penny.” _

_“Yes or no, Kurt.” She demanded_

_“As her majesty wishes.” He raised his hands in surrender _

_He dealt the cards again, placing the ring in the center of the table and tossing a coin with it to match. They went through the motions and although the game was closer than any of the others, he still won. _

_She must have made a face, the ring had belonged to her mother after all, because he paused and held the ring up thoughtfully. Finally, he grabbed her hand and slipped the ring back onto her finger. _

_“Don’t bet something you’re not willing to lose.” He scolded her_

The ring was a constant reminder of that night, of the first real kindness he’d shown to her. She reeled herself back into the game, sliding a throwaway card towards the middle and picking a new card from the deck. Kurt was concentrating but she could tell his mind was elsewhere. 

“You haven’t made a bet.” She remarked, fishing for her coin purse

He glanced up, his eyes dark and a smirk plastered across his face. He leaned back for a moment and seemed to be weighing his options. Finally, he pulled out a coin and laid it on the table and the game began. Two drinks later and several more games and she’d bested him in almost all of them. Kurt didn’t seem to care, his eyes tracing over her. 

“I don’t think you want to lose anymore coins tonight.” She teased him and made a show of putting the coins in her bag, usually enough to get a rise out of him 

“Perhaps we should raise the stakes.” He raised an eyebrow and she paused 

“Oh?” She smirked, “And what did you want to bet?” 

“Something more…practical.” 

He scooped up the cards, pocketing them, and then pulled her to her feet. He led the way back to her home, keeping her hand in his. The sun was steadily moving down, beginning to set, and although they were surrounded by people, he didn’t seem to mind anyone else seeing them. They slipped through the front door of her house and he dropped the cards on the rug in front of the fire while she took off her boots. He retrieved some wine, pouring two heavy glasses, and then settled down to deal again. 

“So…what’re we betting?” She felt breathless and exhilarated and comfortable 

“Clothes.” He replied simply, giving her a wicked smile

A surge of warmth rose up her chest but she smiled back confidently nonetheless. Kurt looked equally confident, leaning nonchalantly against the edge of the couch. 

“Deal.” She replied

He laid out the cards in front of them and she snatched hers up, nervous. They had only toyed with the idea of something more, of pushing the boundary and crossing the imaginary line between them. He wanted her to be comfortable, to feel safe. She wanted to finally release the vice grip in her chest. 

The first round was short; she was too nervous, too preoccupied. He kept her gaze as he pulled off one sock and then the next, trailing his fingertips down her ankles as he did. 

He lost his socks and then jacket after that, though he didn’t seem to mind. They were on even footing then, both wearing shirts and pants and little else. She gulped down more wine, focusing on the cards in front of her. Kurt was watching her with an expression she couldn’t quite place. Somewhere between curiosity and…hunger? 

She smirked, laying her cards out flat. It was one of the strongest hands possible and Kurt gave in without much of a fight, opening his arms to her. She crawled forward, pressing a tight kiss to his lips as she unbuttoned his shirt. 

“Hmm…you’re…cheating.” He mumbled between kisses, his hands sliding down to her hips to hold her close

She didn’t respond, sliding her hands beneath his shirt and then down his back. It fell to the ground behind him easily and she kissed him one last time, trailing a tongue on his bottom lip. 

Their faces were flushed when she finally pulled away, offering a small smile. Her heart was beating fast, pounding against her chest. She shuffled the cards with shaky hands, offering them to him to deal. 

He didn’t seem nearly so rattled. He dealt out the cards and then leaned back casually, glancing over them without an expression. She tried to do the same, distracting herself with wine. All she really wanted to do was touch him though. 

He grabbed a new card, discarding one of his in the stack, and then the corner of his mouth pulled into a smirk. She frowned, knowing already her cards were less than strong. Still, she put on a show and pretended to shuffle them around. He nodded for her to show her cards and she laid them out carefully. He mimicked her, laying his cards on top of hers. 

“My turn.” He smirked more fully and she felt a blush climb up her neck 

He moved closer, brushing his nose against her cheek and then her neck and collarbone. His ghosted his lips against her artery, feeling her heartbeat for a moment, before he pulled back. 

Kurt unbuttoned her shirt in the next moment and then guided her to the ground, her shirt pooling around her ribs. And then he was on top of her, keeping from crushing her with his forearms on either side of her head. She felt like she was burning every time his skin touched hers, each expanding breath bringing them in contact. He kissed her gently, his tongue sliding between her lips as her legs twisted slightly around his hips and kept him close. 

He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth before he pulled away, staring down at her with a smirk. Her fingers had slipped to his side, keeping him in place. He brushed his thumbs against the side of her head, kissing her nose. 

“Who’s cheating now?” She managed and he offered a guilty, boyish grin in return 

They both extracted themselves and then she let her shirt slide off, sitting exposed in front of him. His chest was slightly flushed and his eyes looked darker than they ever had. He glanced at the cards, scattered around them, and then back at her. 

“Maybe we should go upstairs.” 

She felt bold, excited, like maybe she could finally breathe again. He merely nodded, pulling her to her feet. But then he had a hand in her hair and he was pulling her back to his lips, kissing her hard. They stumbled up the stairs, still tangled, and then tumbled back against the bed. Kurt paused a moment, trying to read her expression. 

“Are you…do you want…” He stumbled over his words for a moment

“Yes.” She panted, hooking her legs around his hips and twisting him over to his back 

He laughed as she stared down at him, more exposed than she’d ever been with him. His hands gently rose up her sides, bringing out goosebumps across her arms. 

“God you’re beautiful.” He breathed it, turning her over on her back gently again

He kissed her again, slow and purposeful, as his hands made short work of the rest of her clothes. He slid off her pants and then her bra, pausing to kiss along her collarbone as her toes curled. 

“Kurt…” She hissed in a breath as his hand went lower

He returned to her lips, sucking on her bottom lip again. Her fingers were pressed tightly into his back, holding him there, and her eyes crunched closed. 

He kissed down her neck again, nibbling and sucking an arch into her back. His fingers slid down professionally, dipping into her underwear and teasing her. He knew what he was doing, that much was obvious, and her body betrayed her in every way. 

She shivered, biting her lip to keep from making a noise as he slid a finger inside her. She was already wet, an embarrassing thought at any other moment, but her brain didn’t have room for that right now. He pressed up slightly and she arched again, moaning. 

Little by little, magic seemed to escape from her as he moved faster. It enveloped them both in a tingly feeling that raised the hairs on the back of his neck. He hummed against her throat at the feeling, changing angles slightly. He used his other hand to pin hers above her head, holding her at her wrists. 

She whimpered out a plea, keep going, don’t stop, and then her legs locked around his hand and she moaned again, trembling. He held her there a moment, his heart slamming against her own chest. His forehead pressed against hers and he kissed her, gently. 

When she could see again, she twisted on top of him, pressing her hands to his shoulders to keep him pressed back. She shimmied her way down, despite his weak protest, and kissed down his chest to his hips. The rest of his clothes came off easily and she kissed the junction of his hip. 

“Margot.” He hissed her name as she moved in, licking from the base to the very tip of his erect penis 

She twirled her tongue around the tip, sucking lightly as one of his hands threaded into the sheets below, twisting hard. His other grabbed at the headboard above him, his face a mixture of concentration and bliss. He bit his lip hard as she moved faster, her hand synchronized with her mouth and he groaned, closing his eyes. The muscles in his abdomen jumped, taut, and then felt his legs tremble.

He hissed in another breath, tangling his fingers in her hair and pulling her to his lips. He kissed her, sloppy and wet, and then twisted on top of her. His face was pressed against her shoulder when he slid into her, eliciting a myriad of curses. He hooked one of her legs over his arm and pressed tight against her, moving smoothly. 

“Kurt…I…” Her fingers pierced hard against his back as he moved, pushing her leg up to change the angle

She let go of what little control she had left and her back arched sharply, another moan escaping past her lips. Kurt kissed her again and then groaned, pressing his face against her shoulder again. Her legs rocked, trembling hard. She could feel the pressure mounting, almost spilling over, almost tipping past the edge. He picked up speed, putting both her legs over his arms and pushing her up slightly. She trembled at the new angle, at the feeling that was growing harder to ignore. 

“Don’t stop.” She whispered, “Please…Kurt…don’t…”

And then she screamed, her fingers biting into his forearms. Kurt bit her shoulder, pressing into her hard. He cursed, crushing his eyes closed, and then he moaned, a noise that made goosebumps rise all the way up her neck. He stayed above her for a moment, breathing hard. She matched the same breath, her fingers still pressed into his arms, keeping him in place. 

Finally, he lifted his head, giving her a small smile and kissing her nose. She grinned back, tired, content. He rolled off her a moment later and she found her spot in the crook of his arm, running her fingers through his chest hair as he sighed. 

“That was…well…” He trailed off, pressing his face into her hair and sighing again, “You’re amazing.” 

The magic that had seeped out from her slowly dissipated and she shivered, goosebumps rising again. He tightened his arm around her, keeping her pressed against his side and warming her considerably. He softly dragged his fingers down her back, humming against her head as she relaxed, her eyes closed. 

“Margot?” 

Her eyes fluttered open and she mumbled an affirmative, squeezing him slightly. He seemed to be mulling over what to say, his fingers still distracting on her back. Finally, he rubbed a hand down his face and then turned to face her. 

“You’ve everything I’ve ever wanted. Everything I thought I’d never have. I’ve come…to care about you. Very much. I want to stay by your side, I want to be with you, I...” He breathed the words, “I love you, Margot.”

She felt warm, her cheeks flushing, but a grin crossed her face regardless. Kurt was smiling too, though he still seemed nervous and his eyes gave away a sort of fear she intimately understood. She pulled herself forward and kissed him gently, pausing a breath away. 

“I love you too, Kurt.” 

He looked openly relieved and he crushed her against his chest, wrapping his arms tight around her. She laughed, wrapping her own arms around him and keeping him against her. He was so warm, so soft. He turned, keeping her in his arms, and pressed her face back to her spot on his shoulder. She relaxed again, closing her eyes. 

He kissed her forehead, resting his chin on the top of her head with a slow, sleepy breath. Outside the world was dark and he took a moment to extinguish the candle beside the bed, leaving them in pitch blackness. She snuggled closer, keeping an arm around his middle. Kurt kept his arms around her, finally satisfied, finally home.


End file.
